poetry

Wild Thing

AriaPhoenix Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

puma

I see

All the Wild Things in you

Do you see them in me

Dancing, screaming, shaking…living

Turbulent things

You think

You aren’t good enough for me

But I know you

I know your wild things

Let yourself be wild enough to know them too

There’s no hero without the villain

There’s no You without the Truth

Accept your sick, your dark, your stale

Only warriors inhale

So who are you…who will you be?

I believe

The ocean lives in each of us

Serene and deep and dangerous

Don’t stay safe in that slender stream

Flow on down and merge with me

I see

All the wild things in you

Do you see them in me

Let’s dance, then, and scream and shake

Love and live

Ride the dream

Turbulence…it ain’t no thang

Be my Warrior King

I’m your Warrior Queen

And This that Lives in each of us?

Just another Wild Thing

What Else Is There?

AriaPhoenix Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , 2 Comments

 

799

You tell me to trust —

Surrender —

And I try

But the memories of failure still live

Rejection burned in my mind

Why is Unrequited Love so easy to find?

Seems like the laundry keeps spinning

But it ain’t gettin’ clean

He goes after her, and she goes after someone else

Et cetera, et cetera…

You know what I mean

And so we go — just chasing the dream

Some kind of twisted fantasy

One disappointment after another

Another serving of Passionless Whatever

Oh, yes, another helping for me, please!

Plopped down on my plate like prison-cafeteria slop

You start to feel like you’ve tried everything

Putting yourself out there

Holding yourself in

Taking a date because, well, he’s nice

Refusing the date because he’s just…nice

But that Essence is missing

That thing that breaks a person wide open

So I ask You —

What is there to trust?

Broken open doesn’t often last even when it happens

Diamonds just turn back to dust

So my shaken prayer is this and always this –

Just let me Accept

Because really –

What else is there?

 

Not Bad

AriaPhoenix Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

universepic

You are not bad

Why, my child, whoever told you that?

I think They must not have known what they said

Would you listen to me, instead?

You are not bad

You are not the reason for all the yuck of life

Life just comes with yuck

Wish that lesson would have stuck

“You are a child of the Universe…

No less than the trees or stars…”

And they too, are not bad or good —

They, my child, just are

You are allowed to Be

You are allowed to stumble through life

Deep in the mess of it

In fact, I encourage it

What other way is there

But to fight through

Reaching your worthy fingers into the rough ground to spread roots

And rise

Or burn for thousands of years and burst

Dying-Alive at the same time

You are made up of a million things

In this human being

But you are not wrong

And you are not bad

Could you, would you let go of those rigid notions?

“Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field.

I will meet you there.”

Perhaps we are meeting now

*Quote 1 from Desiderata 2 by Rumi

When Morning Comes

AriaPhoenix Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

morning

When mourning comes

The slow and painful rise of awareness

Bright and shocking to our confused eyes

When the tears fall for the Unlived Life

And the thoughts come of What Could Have Been

The Should Have Been’s

The If Only’s

Do we deny, then, or accept?

When mourning comes and the tidal waves of deep regret

Stick to your cheeks, smearing them with agony and loneliness

And your heart screams, why can’t it be different?

I should have known

And you look stupidly at your own ignorance

Mad at something that makes no sense to be mad at

Oh but so, so mad

And sad

The piercing bitterness rises

When mourning comes

And morning always comes

Do we deny, then, or accept?

Can we forgive ourselves for the Not Knowing

Can we start to see through new eyes

Polished, clearer from our suffering

And see — truly see — that there is no other way for any of us

To live this journey

Except exactly as it is

The Broken Thing

AriaPhoenix Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

obiwan

He hides in books and bitterness

Protests against loving attempts

With an ever-present, I’m not ready for This

His hurt is the hand he uses to push Them away

Meanwhile, inside

He craves and craves

A meaningful Love he shoves swiftly away

Has empty encounters that offer brief pleasures

But those kind of pleasures just evaporate

Afterward, so painfully aware

Of exactly What and How Much is not there

He can’t bear demands or needs or wants

Lays it all on the table at once

This won’t be what you want it to be

Don’t think you’re special

Don’t fall for me

Reverse psychology, They think

Except – um, Oops – he says what He means

That’s the Broken Man speaking

He told me the very same thing

The difference is I listen

I know that road is his to go

Maybe he’ll defeat The Thing inside who speaks

On the other hand

Maybe he’ll just listen…

 

An Invitation

AriaPhoenix Uncategorized Tags: , , , 3 Comments

broken_wings_by_mendha-d4i4am8

Come to me with your broken pieces

I have a special kind of glue

I can only use it on one person

I have chosen you

Come to me with your broken wings

I’ve got an extra pair

Been saving them since 17

‘Case you ever came back here

Come to me with your bitter rage

There’s an elixir that I’ve mixed

Made from truth and bond and love

Free of traps and tricks

Come to me, if you will

I won’t ever force your hand

It’s merely an invitation, love

Never a command

I wait for you to realize what I have always known

I loved you then and now and always

Been forever yours, alone

I hang here in the balance

In the darkness of lost years

My palm is open, wondering

If you’ll master all your fears…

 

 

A Soul I Know

AriaPhoenix Uncategorized Tags: , Leave a comment

firstlove

Why bring things back around like this

It happens rarely

Scarcely

A billion different ways life goes

And you came back to me

My heart so full, no room for speech

In fact, I think I cried for you

Sitting there across from me

A soul I know

A soul I don’t

Simultaneously

I see your eyes reach for me while

Your hands keep me away

Could it be this serendipity’s

Just a torturous trick of fate?

They say love is all around us

But what good would that be

If you cannot untrap your soul

Let it reside with me?

I simply go on living

For what else is there to do

Store away my Depth of Feeling

It lived for only you

What Cruel Thing would bring us back together

But never let us manifest?

I won’t let myself believe it yet

Would be too much to bear

Would snatch the last shred of hope I have

And throw it in the fire

Gone Girl (aka “She Cray”)

AriaPhoenix Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

woman-w-crazy-hair

Bustling, Running,

Scurrying about…

Where did your femininity go?

You toss it out the window with all the other

Unimportant things?

Like Being, Loving, Nurturing

Took hold of what matters most, eh?

Drive, Ambition

Goal-setting!

Going at such an Incredible Pace…

But you aren’t Accomplishing anything

No you aren’t Accomplishing anything

And isn’t that the point of your broken Mad-ness?

Your endless rushing?

To get to the Thing you seek?

Funny how you ain’t really gettin’ anything

Fretting, hand-wringing

Chasing your sarong in circles

Grasping nothing

That’s the kind of thing that happens

When a woman loses her sense of

Purpose

And I don’t mean goal-setting

But when she becomes identified with the Flurry of Doing

And doing

She does

But she grasps nothing

She is all splayed about

Like the papers on her desk

Or the packets that have essentials missing

Essentials missing!

Businesses can only run for so long like that

People ain’t no different

You find that out and then Spin Out

It’s an Indy 500 car crash

You try and take me with you again

But I am not driving in that race

Anymore

I tossed that Panic-Panic-Ungroundedness

Out my window…

With all the other

Unimportant things.

The Webweaver

AriaPhoenix Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

webweaver

I am the Webweaver

the spider

I create my own destiny

But only

Always only

Because You flow through me

Sincere humility the only thing to birth true power

Do you feel it rise up in you

like I do in me

Oh my god

the high

so heady

But there now, soft

Bring it back down

stop the threading of soul for a breath

Lest we lose our connection to what gives us our breath

Oh then, it’s amped up again

let’s connect

you and me

Webweaver and demon seed

Ravish me

Ravish me

ravish me

And it will be holy

Bad-Bad

AriaPhoenix Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

DemonLover

Where you been

Demon-Lover friend?

You left me again

Crawling up these walls

Clawing my nails into them

But I want them in your skin instead

It’s a fantasy so

Let’s play pretend

I know you aren’t my forever man

But let’s be bad

Come to my bed; slide on in

Fuck this being good

Holding all the tension in

I want to sin with you

Sink my hooks on in

Let you do what I want you to

Front door’s open

Just come in

Allow our fantasies to live

Sweat and passion and perfectness

There’s no room for humanness with you

But I don’t want to be human with you

Lets mix with the gods for an hour or two

Because the Mundane Tomorrow always comes

It always comes

Such a bitter truth

Tonight let’s smash through collective rules

Dive deep into our own depravity

Oh, this bondage of morality!

I’m tired of it, I’m just like you

See…

Either way we stay a slave to light or dark

So why behave?

To scrawl, “I Was Good” upon my grave?

Good’s so overrated, babe

So, instead…I’ll let you in

Just come this way

Come this way