I find my own Heart
Waiting
Brave
Beating in warrior rhythms
Slow and steady
Waiting for me to return to it
And I have
The reunion
Is a true
Re-Union
I am solidified
In this liquefied ever-changing Whole
Humbled and Empowered
At the same time.
I no longer question.
Simply, I just
Know.
I am in The Chrysalis
I sit in meditation
How do I begin to tell you what it feels like
To be in the womb of the Great Mother?
How do I begin to describe this warm, pulsating energy
I am dropping down into
As I am lifted up at the same time?
I have never been more sober
Nor felt more high.
I am in a soft Orange-Red place.
I feel myself release into Trusting.
And then I
E X P A N D, oscillating out into Everything
And there is no more “I.”
How do I tell you I have actually
Experienced being One with the whole
Universe?
That “being one” is not an idea
But a sacred Act of Allowing
Allowing yourself to Feel so completely
That you lose yourself.
Only…it is not scary at all.
Not like I imagined.
My sweet ego thought about the end of my life and pleaded,
“But, there’s no one like me! I don’t want to die! I like who I am.”
Now I Know
Beyond a shadow of a doubt
Death is nothing to fear.
White light vibrating energy moving through me
In waves and spades
As sunshine parades through my soul
It may be
That I may be whole.
I followed It last night
I didn’t fight
I drew instead so It revealed
Who It was, in symbols
My respect, my surrender
My willingness to give in!
And say, “I don’t know …
But show me.”
And, oh, It showed me in those symbols
As cymbals played in my head
And every other kind of instrument;
In Aliveness gyrating in my skin
Could not even consider sleep
Nor did I need a place to rest my head
“Awake! Awake! Awake!” It said,
“It’s time to Live and grow in ways
You can’t imagine
Yet.
I come to tell you that you have reached the place —
The very one —
That reaches still another one.”
And I felt no regret at this!
But only gentle tenderness
Feathers whisking up my skin
As if to say “Alive again!”
The night before, something died.
Now something New
Begins…
They all talk about that historic plane
That flew through the eye of the hurricane;
The brave pilot who faced that massive twister
Air and debris spinning like the Inception top
Crazily —
Teetering —
On the brink of sanity;
Or, perhaps…
Gone right on past?
It’s hard to tell at The Edge like that.
Either way, I have to say —
I ain’t no eye of the hurricane.
I am, instead, the air and debris –
The stuff that makes up that Wild Thing.
Spinning-spinning-screaming-spinning
(Perhaps too occupied with”winning?”)
The ego fights so I go on spinning…
Round and round and round I go…
So close to the center
(So very far though!)
And I long to be the historic plane;
The brave pilot who pierced the peaceful center;
For I have long known the dangerous Exit
But tell me, pray, tell me:
Where do I enter?
Drunk on love feelings, oxytocin, and wine
They stumble, giddy, out into the dark night street
An “oops” wine stain on a white shirt followed by a giggle
As he offers “let me get that for you”
And his hand brushes her breast
A blush lighter than the wine spreads across her cheeks
Soul-gazing stares and “no one gets me like you do” thoughts
And the mutually used — over-used word — said to friends
“It’s like…we have this connection..”
The long make-out sessions where “we can’t have sex yet” she whispers
“Trust issues”
He’s okay with it
A gentleman can handle the Blue Frustration
And she sees this
So then, one day, they do.
About 3 months in – maybe 6 (if they’re lucky)
The buzz wears off and he starts to think “she seems pretty needy, emotional, complex…”
And she starts to think “he is closed-off, overly practical and frankly, kind of boring…”
They each long for that Original Night that seemed to last forever
Where everything just clicked,
Fell away…
And they saw only the Good Soul Essence
But it is a different night.
No more fantasy
No more drunken romantic-movie-like illusions about Princes or Goddesses.
They stand facing one another
Truly naked for the first time
Each one must decide
If they want to love a human being
Or an ideal
If they want the thing they say they want:
Actual True Love.
ariaphoenix 