I walk in
just to see his smile
for 47 seconds
It’s the kind you hear about —
the kind that Lights Up everything
I wonder if he is always the sun inside himself?
like he is the sun for me
Good God I’m grateful he exists
in a world Like This
I don’t even need a drink today
I just need those 47 seconds
He hides in books and bitterness
Protests against loving attempts
With an ever-present, I’m not ready for This
His hurt is the hand he uses to push Them away
Meanwhile, inside
He craves and craves
A meaningful Love he shoves swiftly away
Has empty encounters that offer brief pleasures
But those kind of pleasures just evaporate
Afterward, so painfully aware
Of exactly What and How Much is not there
He can’t bear demands or needs or wants
Lays it all on the table at once
This won’t be what you want it to be
Don’t think you’re special
Don’t fall for me
Reverse psychology, They think
Except – um, Oops – he says what He means
That’s the Broken Man speaking
He told me the very same thing
The difference is I listen
I know that road is his to go
Maybe he’ll defeat The Thing inside who speaks
On the other hand
Maybe he’ll just listen…
I find my own Heart
Waiting
Brave
Beating in warrior rhythms
Slow and steady
Waiting for me to return to it
And I have
The reunion
Is a true
Re-Union
I am solidified
In this liquefied ever-changing Whole
Humbled and Empowered
At the same time.
I no longer question.
Simply, I just
Know.
ariaphoenix 