Gone Girl (aka “She Cray”)

woman-w-crazy-hair

Bustling, Running,

Scurrying about…

Where did your femininity go?

You toss it out the window with all the other

Unimportant things?

Like Being, Loving, Nurturing

Took hold of what matters most, eh?

Drive, Ambition

Goal-setting!

Going at such an Incredible Pace…

But you aren’t Accomplishing anything

No you aren’t Accomplishing anything

And isn’t that the point of your broken Mad-ness?

Your endless rushing?

To get to the Thing you seek?

Funny how you ain’t really gettin’ anything

Fretting, hand-wringing

Chasing your sarong in circles

Grasping nothing

That’s the kind of thing that happens

When a woman loses her sense of

Purpose

And I don’t mean goal-setting

But when she becomes identified with the Flurry of Doing

And doing

She does

But she grasps nothing

She is all splayed about

Like the papers on her desk

Or the packets that have essentials missing

Essentials missing!

Businesses can only run for so long like that

People ain’t no different

You find that out and then Spin Out

It’s an Indy 500 car crash

You try and take me with you again

But I am not driving in that race

Anymore

I tossed that Panic-Panic-Ungroundedness

Out my window…

With all the other

Unimportant things.

Feed the Fish

It’s just Fear, I tell myself

The dynamics of my own mind

Keeping me in the tall glass tower

Thunderous Fear words booming through my flimsy glass walls

Shaking me

Threatening breaking me

All the fishes in the pond below have gone

They done swam away

‘Cause Fear had His say

And I have to admit that I’m afraid

Ego petrified

Exposed through these glass walls

Do they see me?

Will they eat me?

Or hate me?

Or beat me?

Or treat me like a leper?

What insult will be thrown my way today?

How will I be maligned —

Vomited on by a Better Kind

Oh, the sad dynamics of my own mind

It’s just Fear I say

Just Fear so you can either

Walk out the tall glass door or stay

It’s just a choice you make

With crumbs of food in my trembling hands

I close the door behind me and feed the fishes

Calling to them,

“There, there, “ I say, “It is safe.”

It was just Fear.