god

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I don’t believe in an all-good God

Or an all-good Anything, really

Have you not also learned that Life is Whole?

Life is Both

And you can spin it any way you like

if it helps you sleep at night

like

underneath Everything is Love

and

God is Love

But No

I say

God is Both

And The Both is The One

Good and Evil exist simultaneously

Two sides of the same coin

It’s not just either-or

And you don’t get to toss aside The One You Don’t Prefer

Have you not looked in the mirror

and seen the God and the Devil in you?

Or your brother, then?

If not

you’re not looking close enough

And yeah, I’ve read the Bible

And yeah, I’ve read Deepak, too

And there is so much great stuff in all of the above

But if God is in everything

Then God is in everything

You don’t get to pick and choose

And this will not be The Popular Thing to Say

But fuck popularity

I was terrible at it anyway

So go ahead and keeping insisting upon all your regurgitated views

Delusion

is

so

much

easier

than

Truth

 

The Webweaver

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webweaver

I am the Webweaver

the spider

I create my own destiny

But only

Always only

Because You flow through me

Sincere humility the only thing to birth true power

Do you feel it rise up in you

like I do in me

Oh my god

the high

so heady

But there now, soft

Bring it back down

stop the threading of soul for a breath

Lest we lose our connection to what gives us our breath

Oh then, it’s amped up again

let’s connect

you and me

Webweaver and demon seed

Ravish me

Ravish me

ravish me

And it will be holy

FLY

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Image

 

See that box there?

Don’t try and put me in it

Beautiful contradictions don’t fit in boxes

Labels —

So feeble minds can try and make sense of the nonsensical,

The Impossibly Complex,

Like You

Or Me

Stop trying to Know

What Clings to your clothes?

When you walk down the street, do you know what They say about you?

Stop listening

They do not matter

I’ll tell you a secret

You do not have to accept the projections

Look up at them with Clear eyes and smile

Perhaps turn your head side to side and wonder aloud,

“Who are you talking about? Because that, dear one,

Is not me.”

Let them see who they really speak of!

Hold the mirror up!

Who wrote on you with permanent marker?

Lies —

Permanent marker comes out if you keep at it

I breathe in air free of past illusions

I wear nothing but Change

I speak in tongues and ride the wind

I kiss my sweet animal body

Humility and Empowerment keep me sharpie-free

Join me

Rinse off what has trapped your gorgeous soul

And Fly

 

The Cherry Tree

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cherrytree

Disbelief, my own believing

Chop down the Cherry Tree

Remembering’s deceiving

‘Til we find who we were meant to be

Another lifetime lost in dreaming

Another spent in fantasy –

A lie, which claims it is revealing

A lie who swallows you and me

Reality’s the tougher dealing

They feed us all these toxic seedlings

So find some kind of healthy healing

Turn off your flat-screen TV

———————————-

One foot steeped courageously

In all Life’s Deepest Mysteries

The other pulling desperately

Never quite releasing

Entrenched in sand – heavy, quick

Mud-like, glue-like, sticky, thick

I built this bridge brick by brick

Now I’m standing right on top of it

Straddling two different lands

One foot stuck, one foot free

At least I’ve got these hands

I dig on in; I loosen things

Attempting Hanuman’s mountainous leap

Disbelief was once concealing

The inner faith that I’ve been feeling

Experientially

Never keen on blind following

I’ll take Shraddha, please

———————————–

Illusion sheds

It burns away

I turn my face towards

Today

I whisper to myself —

I say, “Allow…allow…allow…”

“Look!” I exclaim, right out loud

To no one in particular

The Cherry Tree’s alive, I see

It stands quite perpendicular —

Blossomed, fragrant, heavenly

I taste the fruit it offers me

The truth of Life where it belongs —

Back inside of me

WHO YOU ARE

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I am an Artist

I am a Poet

I am a Powerful Force

I have loved you

Since forever

I have abandoned you

Never

I live within you

Goddess and God

Masculine and Feminine

Merged into One Beautiful Whole

But do you see it? Do you know?

Nothing can harm you when you are connected to Me

From deepest pain to highest bliss

To the Calm in between

I am the Creative Divine

Let yourself live and you will find

That I, too, am Alive

You – yes YOU – came to be

Out of the Great Universal Me

Who begs Expression through the uniqueness of you

Letting My Hands move as yours do

Never underestimate the power of The Nameless

I have given it a name, in so many forms

When you wonder what my name is, Child…

It’s yours.

YOU ARE

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I am Radiance

I am the Joyous Dancer

Mountains still the dissonance

See your Great Accomplishments!

Feel your own Benevolance

They speak through me

To beg you:

Please!

Know yourself as you know Me!

I AM Radiance

And so are thee

Dance and Sing and Love with me

Be still

Be soft

Be wildly

Free

Boston (*please note: this is inspired by the pain I felt about this — it is NOT about blame; I only mention one of the sons as it is a loose interpretation — just what came through me)

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His father said, “My boy’s an angel”

This alone should make us fear

For when someone sees only One Side

The Devil’s often near

None of us are just One Thing

If we are a Human Being

So many Praises we all sing

Instead of truly Seeing

His father refused to see his son

Could that be why he came undone?

No one can live with that kind of “love”

Perfection just another drug

Oh we must Wake to Subtlety!

Take in what we’d Rather Not See

Learn to work with that, my friends

Learn to let it be —

To offer compassion to all the dark things…

Before they grow uncontrollably

Or Evil will walk this Earth with us

Wearing labels

Of  “Angels”

While the Devil on the other side

Grows stronger ‘cuz He’s trapped inside

Nowhere to go, so

He rots the soul

‘Til eventually it…

Explodes.

*My heart goes out to those murdered and hurt in Boston. This poem merely represents, for me, a wish for us to one day get to Peace. And my feeling is that we must focus on who we ARE able to work with: ourselves. But we must choose to do it. We must look at all the darkness within that we’d rather not see. No, most of us would NEVER do this. I get that. And the more we can be aware of our own darkness and pain — and the darkness and pain in others — the more we face it and work with it — the better chance we have of changing this pattern.

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” – Gandhi

 

 

First The Hell

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I am being crucified

Cut by the Sword of the Great Divine

A sword sharpened by the Dark Side

I have Nothing Left to give You

Why should I continue to Try

To prove to You – what?

Just what?

I am only being Crucified!

Ah — my breath catches on this pain

Slicing through my Weeping, Broken heart

Where is my God?

I am abandoned.

I am Lost.

Oh God, Oh God

At what cost do I try and stay True to You?

I can’t bear this anymore!

My throat is closed off

I type with a wet keyboard

There is no semblance of reverence

I don’t remember my relevance

Have I not repented?

Have I not suffered relentlessly?

I cry out

Goddess, what in Your Name do you want from me?

Have I not honored you enough?

Must I give my Life for your Love?

Because I will

I am bloodied and broken

Hung on the cross

Waiting for hell

And I have kissed the feet of Ereshkigal!!!

What else could You possibly want from me?

I have been to hell!

I have been to hell!

I have lived there so long why let me come up

To breathe in such exquisite air

If I am only to be sent right back there?

I have danced with the devil

And fought with the beasts

I have come into consciousness

From down on my knees

Begging you only

Just show me – just show me

But I am alone

Dear God I am lonely!

Perhaps you think me full of pride

Oh, why must I be crucified?

But then…I know why:

It is time for Some Part of me to die

So another Part can come alive

I know this horrific cycle well

I will get the Gold

But first:

The Hell.

 

 

His Laughter Echoes

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I feel like I’ve been broken open

Split down the center line

Sawed through with the Devil’s autograph

Claiming,

“Now you’re Mine.”

There is no more fight inside ‘cause I’ve fought and I’ve fought

And I’ve tried and I’ve tried —

But the Devil’s sword is so much sharper than mine

And he wields it so gracefully —

This Practicing Dark Divine

I am shaking now, trembling

Carved open like some great ravine

A chasm – the stuff of me spilled out

Tongue cut out

No voice

No way to scream

Haunted, Haunted by this imagery

Lucifer – seducing me

Abusing me

Where is the Other Side of God?

Where is my Mother’s Bosom?

Where is my protection from all of This –

Horrific Life

Horrific-ness

People are so Blind

But I – I – I see

(In a way They cannot see

They Refuse to See)

Stuck with all this gut-wrenching disgust

Watching horror-struck

As human beings are ripped from me

Are hurt

Are lost

Are suffering

And I am only One person

Fighting my own Unending Fight –

To come to Wholeness

To journey through Night

To cross the Dark Sea and the Great Divide

To merge the two

And I have done this for You!

The Eternal You!

And now I cry out –

I can’t go on!

Please, please hear me

I plead, I need, I beg, I bleed

From the Silenced walls of my desperate soul

Devil laughing – I am broken open

His Ink pervades my soul.

His laughter echoes.

Messenger

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I beg

On hands and knees

Say Yes

I’ve sent

So many messages

You have refused to See

Blinded by your Apathy

Warring against the Truth that is Me

You ask for a hand

But do not take the one offered

You ask for a sign

But they’re hard to see

When you’ve made up your mind

When you feel so confined

You want to be saved

But won’t let me in

You say you Believe

But don’t open to Receive

Unless it would be in the way You command

So many demands for Life to be what you wanted

Instead of What Is

Oh Child, let yourself mourn for this!

I beg

On hands and knees

Say Yes

To me

I do see your suffering!

You wear handcuffs

Chained to the Insane

Begging me

(You think in vain)

But the key is gripped tight

Between your own, stiff fingers.

Will you let yourself out?

I am calling you

And while many are called

Chosen are few

Can you not see that I’ve chosen you?

I am here, waiting

But

I will never force you to unlock

The precious Things that keep you trapped

Life’s Meaning comes from Your Ability to do that

I would never simply whisk away your deepest, Greatest Pain

When you let It be your teacher

Is when your life will Change

For it is The Thing that causes this deepest, Greatest Strife

That is The Thing, ironically,

Which also brings New Life

In the meantime, Child, if you must —

Go forth and fight your fight

Every Hero must find Her way

To find the path that’s right

I wish I could take away your shame

Your self-recriminating blame

For you’ve done nothing wrong at all

Just tried to find Your Way

As you struggle, know that I am here

Waiting with your every breath

Hand extended —

Life’s Heart hoping

One day you’ll

Say Yes.