forgiveness

When Morning Comes

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morning

When mourning comes

The slow and painful rise of awareness

Bright and shocking to our confused eyes

When the tears fall for the Unlived Life

And the thoughts come of What Could Have Been

The Should Have Been’s

The If Only’s

Do we deny, then, or accept?

When mourning comes and the tidal waves of deep regret

Stick to your cheeks, smearing them with agony and loneliness

And your heart screams, why can’t it be different?

I should have known

And you look stupidly at your own ignorance

Mad at something that makes no sense to be mad at

Oh but so, so mad

And sad

The piercing bitterness rises

When mourning comes

And morning always comes

Do we deny, then, or accept?

Can we forgive ourselves for the Not Knowing

Can we start to see through new eyes

Polished, clearer from our suffering

And see — truly see — that there is no other way for any of us

To live this journey

Except exactly as it is

The Lake

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I have reached the water’s edge –

Once merely a mirage in the distance.

Sunlight bouncing like glitter off sparkling watery ripples –

Closer to a glorious-white than a golden-yellow,

Though that hue shows up, too,

Mixing with the Shining Light

And the many-colored blues.

I have reached the water’s edge,

Passed the ragged, sharp stones and pieces of glass

And broken shells that slice open flesh

Passed the jagged, wooden sticks –

Poking out from hidden spaces,

Just waiting for my Blundering Step.

But here I stand at this cool, refreshing place –

Made where the softest, finest, silk-like sand meets

Gentle waves that lap up over scarred, tired feet.

I have reached the water’s edge.

I am bathed in Nature’s kiss:

That soul-reaching Warmth

Only Sun can give.

I know you know the feeling!

I feel it wash over my begging, eager skin,

Through each atom –

My whole Being

Cleansed.

Not knowing if I would ever make it Here,

If Here even existed…

Still I kept trudging through each sharp, angry feeling;

Feet dragging as I resisted.

Oh, how I cut and tore and scarred my skin,

Fueled on hope and faith and trust in

All those who tread this road before me.

And Here I stand

At the water’s edge –

Once merely a mirage in the distance.

They did not let me down, you see

I stand at the lake called

“Forgiveness.”