For Butterfly

there’s all these broken pieces

on the floor between me and you

evidence of our friendship that Life just shattered through

I can see you on the other side tending to your wounds

You can see me over here, I’m tending to mine, too

I guess breaks like this don’t hurt this much

unless the love is Huge

and time has passed and we’ve both patched

those places where we bled

As best we could and we moved on ‘cause that’s what people do

Still, I kept you in my heart

You were rooting for me, too

Now here we are

This same old place and yet somehow, it is new

Those broken pieces waiting there…

But you showed up.

And I showed up.

And both of us

brought glue

 

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Muse

She is Here

This incredible, delectable feeling rushing through my fingertips

gushing water though the dam

bursting, breathing

Aliveness

Excitement

I can feel the planets turn and the stars shoot light across the sky

I can feel your breath in my breath

and your life in mine

Oh sweet Muse

how I have missed your incredible juice

Will you never again leave me

Stay!

Stay

But I will not cling or grasp

Only ride this tidal wave of joyous pulsating Everything

and hope and pray it moves through me clearly

and reaches you

and you feel it

and you feel me and you take us in

as I take in you

As I wish for you

-Now-

All Good and Meaningful Things

All Blessed Truth and Sacred Healing

may any pain you ever feel only be leading you to

the very growth you seek

May any suffering merely push out any last crumb

of self-denial and hate and make a space —

A great, big, beautiful space

For the grand entrance of your Muse,

of your Light

of the Very Truth

of

You

The Mask

Chosen so carefully

Each one crafted, hand-made from our own unique pain

Each one brilliant in its effectiveness towards keeping others

Out

A wearable No Trespassing sign

Expressed in so many ways

And yet we all wish to break free

That Part we’ve kept inside – the Real Us

Asking to be Seen

The outer defending against it endlessly

But there comes a time

Right before it’s too late

(like in that Twlight Zone episode where the masks become the face)

When we realize the mask that kept us safe

Is now the cause of our deterioration

But sweet elation!

You can still get free

You can step out of the box you put yourself in

Take the mask off and place it in the box instead

So the Real You

The one we secretly all beg for

Can finally Live

 

 

Unpopular

I don’t believe in an all-good God

Or an all-good Anything, really

Have you not also learned that Life is Whole?

Life is Both

And you can spin it any way you like

if it helps you sleep at night

like

underneath Everything is Love

and

God is Love

But No

I say

God is Both

And The Both is The One

Good and Evil exist simultaneously

Two sides of the same coin

It’s not just either-or

And you don’t get to toss aside The One You Don’t Prefer

Have you not looked in the mirror

and seen the God and the Devil in you?

Or your brother, then?

If not

you’re not looking close enough

And yeah, I’ve read the Bible

And yeah, I’ve read Deepak, too

And there is so much great stuff in all of the above

But if God is in everything

Then God is in everything

You don’t get to pick and choose

And this will not be The Popular Thing to Say

But fuck popularity

I was terrible at it anyway

So go ahead and keeping insisting upon all your regurgitated views

Delusion

is

so

much

easier

than

Truth

 

Impotent

 

I’m so sick of all the empty talk

You boys forgot how to walk the walk

Where did all the cowboys go

What is all this timidity

All this yes-I-do-but-no-not-really

You reach out but you don’t mean it

and I am so tired of you not meaning it

I don’t want some half-assed fantasy

I don’t want you wanting the idea of me

You ask me out but you don’t follow through

Didn’t you get taught that’s what real men do?

Someone let you down big time, boy

Society or family or hey — blame women wanting equality

I don’t know what the fuck happened

But manhood is lost

Wounded to the point of impotence

And I can’t take more impotence

I’ve got my own to deal with

I want a man who is a man

Who has not lost touch with what makes him that

All these fucking disappearing acts

I don’t believe in any of you anymore

I don’t think you believe in yourselves either

But I can’t fucking do it for you

I can’t do it for you

You have to do it for yourself

And don’t you dare fucking call me until you do

 

Piece of Me

I was thinking about why I never wrote you

Why I said I’d get back

and didn’t

And I’m sorry

I just didn’t have it in me

I didn’t find it there —

that Thing

There is too much Nothingness for me

In the in-between

I guess this time it’s on my side, ironically

And I’m sorry

I’m sorry you are where you are

I’m sorry I can’t work so hard

For anyone

Anymore

Tears come to my eyes

and I cry

‘cause Something inside me has died

And I think it might be a good thing

But that don’t stop these tears from dropping

Funny how we can mourn the loss of an Unhelpful Thing

Or Way of Being

Death is still a death

I suppose

And so

I try

To let these tears flow

To let you go

But I know you do not go alone

You go along

with a piece of me

 

Nothing Lost

There is nothing like Deep Knowing

The feeling of enrichment and meaning diving head-first into your own thriving cells

Penetrating you from the core

Breaking you open, raw and alive

Heart expanded about 1000 times

There is no lover like this!

Even the most satisfying sex merely a distant, handicapped contender

Muted against these powerful tides

Brilliant, gushing, flowing, soul-filling

Enlightenment strikes!

Breathless and starkly aware

Heart pumping, eyes wide

Inside still and screaming at the same time

I live! I live! Yes, I am alive!

Nothing can be taken from me that will not be returned

In perfect form

Anything Less-Than will be made whole again

For it is I who creates

Do you see me?!

I have woven myself through your myths and songs, stories and tales

You yourself in this moment

Write ME!

You yourself in this moment

Read me

Feel me

Know me

Coursing through the veins I gave you

Embodied as divine

Fly child

Live and Know

Soak it all up and fear not

For we will return again and again and again

And nothing, nothing in you will ever be

Lost

Nothing in you will

Ever

Be

Lost

Brick Walls

DSCF9101

I’ve been in love with brick walls

Most of my life

Not sure why

Those sturdy stones, beautiful and strong

Built to last

And red

But I mistook the wall for something so much more

than it was

My hands crumble to dust in front of me

I stare at my own abandonment

When did I leave myself

How did I imagine this could love me back

My legs buckle underneath

Turn from bone and flesh and fat

to smoke

There is only brick and cement in front of me

Bouncing my thoughts back into my own head

No arms or legs —

I’ve become the brick

That makes up the wall

That gives nothing to me

Nothing at all

I lie in the gravel street

and hope someone takes me

and builds me into something great

Since I could not

Since I got so lost

On my way home

Free

free

Free

Heart open

Free

Arms spread

Free

Weightless

Free

———————————

Held captive

far too long

Wrists bruised

beyond black and blue

Heart trapped

without song

(The only sound —

the noise of you)

But I took the shackles off today

Let the sun shine on my face

High time I got on my way

Yeah, I left without a trace

You won’t again deny me

of You, I’ll stay aware

and You will never find me

For Darkness can’t see Clear

This feeling penetrates me

Heart open

There’s no fear

No, you won’t ever find me

So search away, my dear

——————————-

Free, I am

Heart open

Free, I am

Arms wide

Free

I feel weightless

Free I am

Inside