Brick Walls

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I’ve been in love with brick walls

Most of my life

Not sure why

Those sturdy stones, beautiful and strong

Built to last

And red

But I mistook the wall for something so much more

than it was

My hands crumble to dust in front of me

I stare at my own abandonment

When did I leave myself

How did I imagine this could love me back

My legs buckle underneath

Turn from bone and flesh and fat

to smoke

There is only brick and cement in front of me

Bouncing my thoughts back into my own head

No arms or legs —

I’ve become the brick

That makes up the wall

That gives nothing to me

Nothing at all

I lie in the gravel street

and hope someone takes me

and builds me into something great

Since I could not

Since I got so lost

On my way home

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You Tell Me

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I sit in my castle

waiting like a fool

Such a strange-familiar ache

To try and hold all Truths at once

breeds either unity or paralysis

But I am not unified

I have trapped myself here

It is not an evil witch who keeps me

Or some hoped-for Prince

But all the raging parts of my Self fighting this Great Fight

On the battlefield of my soul

I am sore

And tired

There is no one winning

I look so still in my castle

One might think me calm

But The All storms within me

each thing fighting the other equally

Heroes and Nemeses

matched up too perfectly

Am I holding the tension

Or just fucking

frozen?

Maybe you could tell me…

Free

free

Free

Heart open

Free

Arms spread

Free

Weightless

Free

———————————

Held captive

far too long

Wrists bruised

beyond black and blue

Heart trapped

without song

(The only sound —

the noise of you)

But I took the shackles off today

Let the sun shine on my face

High time I got on my way

Yeah, I left without a trace

You won’t again deny me

of You, I’ll stay aware

and You will never find me

For Darkness can’t see Clear

This feeling penetrates me

Heart open

There’s no fear

No, you won’t ever find me

So search away, my dear

——————————-

Free, I am

Heart open

Free, I am

Arms wide

Free

I feel weightless

Free I am

Inside

Something Wonderful

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Whatever – what ever — you have

Own it

Embody yourself like you never have before

Take that spirit of yours and

Step In

Into the body you have now

No protesting allowed

Or judgment or fear

Own what is yours to own

Because I swear to you

It feels good

It feels so fucking good

Because no one else can do it for you

Because All that is you will whisper away

If you don’t lay Claim

Don’t let Time steal what you have refused to own

Only you can breathe in You

And breathe out You

And make something Wonderful