The Matrix

Inside the Matrix

I think I used up all my chances

For loving this life

Or light-hearted romances

I keep on choosing the red pill

Fantasies dance with me

My imagination runs with me

Occasionally

But I have come to believe

That what is Sold in this world

Is just not meant for me

I can’t live in Reality

(said sarcastically)

The way they do

All blindly

Though, I know it’s a ruse to call

It real, ‘cause reality’s not kindly

Eyes wide shut to The All that lives

To exist instead in the Matrix of illusion

A fusion of merely meager things

They are capable of seeing

I see the Unseen

Constantly

My heart splits and splits again

They ask me things I can’t ever answer

Because one can’t Explain the Deep Mysteries

Then, when I attempt, they think, “She’s crazy…she’s inflated.”

Full of myself, perhaps, or maybe inebriated

But I speak My Truth whether I’m sober or not

While they’re held hostage by illogical thought

Dismissing me away

Even as unconsciously they are asking me just What It Takes

But they don’t really wanna know just

What It Fucking Takes

I must resist the temptation to tell them

The answers they don’t really seek

I must toss my need to try and connect

Into the Humble back seat

You can’t sell Soul

When they live to forget

When they’re just not ready

Or it’s too deep to get

So I walk my journey alone

Yes, alone

My fantasies only an escape from my home

A home lived in Shadows

I row my small boat

Though my mind sometimes serves me

I eat

Alone

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Boston (*please note: this is inspired by the pain I felt about this — it is NOT about blame; I only mention one of the sons as it is a loose interpretation — just what came through me)

His father said, “My boy’s an angel”

This alone should make us fear

For when someone sees only One Side

The Devil’s often near

None of us are just One Thing

If we are a Human Being

So many Praises we all sing

Instead of truly Seeing

His father refused to see his son

Could that be why he came undone?

No one can live with that kind of “love”

Perfection just another drug

Oh we must Wake to Subtlety!

Take in what we’d Rather Not See

Learn to work with that, my friends

Learn to let it be —

To offer compassion to all the dark things…

Before they grow uncontrollably

Or Evil will walk this Earth with us

Wearing labels

Of  “Angels”

While the Devil on the other side

Grows stronger ‘cuz He’s trapped inside

Nowhere to go, so

He rots the soul

‘Til eventually it…

Explodes.

*My heart goes out to those murdered and hurt in Boston. This poem merely represents, for me, a wish for us to one day get to Peace. And my feeling is that we must focus on who we ARE able to work with: ourselves. But we must choose to do it. We must look at all the darkness within that we’d rather not see. No, most of us would NEVER do this. I get that. And the more we can be aware of our own darkness and pain — and the darkness and pain in others — the more we face it and work with it — the better chance we have of changing this pattern.

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” – Gandhi