How many levels of hell are there?
Dante is fucking wrong
I have come to deadened space
Alive only with some kind of empty, disgusting, torturous insanity
A white void of horror
There is no God here
There is no God
I beg to be killed but there is no one to do it
And no instruments for my own use in this white sterile room
So I will starve to death on this bitter, pointless existence
And wake back up in this same room
If only I could be in Hell’s 9th level
This level has no number
I can handle emotions, explosions
Such commotion in motion
From the unconscious ocean
You tried to drown me when you found me on the shores of Devotion
A catalyst for The Analyst who lives in this skin
while Sirens beckoned so sweetly
“Come back in, come back in…”
Melodic voices drenched wretched with sin
You bound my wrists and my eyes
Plugged my ears
Threw me in
But when you learned to slither, friend…
I learned to swim
You thought me lost
The Sacrified lamb
But I’d gone to hell — got acquainted with Hades
Befriended the devils
And that lamb?
Oh so tasty
Still don’t know it’s name was
But it sure wasn’t ‘Katie’
The Time has arisen, I’m out of my prison
Hell made me Whole
Clear is my vision
The Sirens may call but my ears do not listen
No infection in my direction
From dismembered dissection
Put myself back together
In perfect imperfection
I call myself servant
Head down and gaze in
The one Call I answer?
The Call from Within
Cut by the Sword of the Great Divine
A sword sharpened by the Dark Side
I have Nothing Left to give You
Why should I continue to Try
To prove to You – what?
Just what?
I am only being Crucified!
Ah — my breath catches on this pain
Slicing through my Weeping, Broken heart
Where is my God?
I am abandoned.
I am Lost.
Oh God, Oh God
At what cost do I try and stay True to You?
I can’t bear this anymore!
My throat is closed off
I type with a wet keyboard
There is no semblance of reverence
I don’t remember my relevance
Have I not repented?
Have I not suffered relentlessly?
I cry out
Goddess, what in Your Name do you want from me?
Have I not honored you enough?
Must I give my Life for your Love?
Because I will
I am bloodied and broken
Hung on the cross
Waiting for hell
And I have kissed the feet of Ereshkigal!!!
What else could You possibly want from me?
I have been to hell!
I have been to hell!
I have lived there so long why let me come up
To breathe in such exquisite air
If I am only to be sent right back there?
I have danced with the devil
And fought with the beasts
I have come into consciousness
From down on my knees
Begging you only
Just show me – just show me
But I am alone
Dear God I am lonely!
Perhaps you think me full of pride
Oh, why must I be crucified?
But then…I know why:
It is time for Some Part of me to die
So another Part can come alive
I know this horrific cycle well
I will get the Gold
But first:
The Hell.
ariaphoenix 