Mad

joker

The Murderer runs wild again

Screaming madly, Insanities

Knife gripped so tight it’s glued to his hands

Thinking over and over,

What can I stab? 

Tw-Twitching for a fix

Sub blood, he demands, for that methadone drip

Drip…drip…

But the drip ain’t gonna cut it so he rips open the bag

Sucks down the Need but there’s more Need to be had…

That’s how it goes when Something’s gone mad

He swallowed too much Rage one day

Now It pours through His gaze

Eyes drinking in pain

Of those he ordains

By slicing and cutting

By his murderous rage

Victims all asking how he got this way

In humble attempts to find his humanity

In desperate pleas to let them go free

But He’s shaking and starving

Can’t hear a damn word they say

Too possessed by the bliss of watching them

Drain

And by the Power that lights up his black-blooded veins

The instruments he wields

Inflicting such pain

Evil is winning, friends

But go ahead — look away

Avoidance is easier than staring this Thing in It’s face

Because that’s what It is – There is no “He” in this man

He kills for the thrill of it

He kills ‘cuz he can

No reason, no feeling

He’s just fucking

Mad

RISEN

Rebirth_by_michellemonique

 

I can handle emotions, explosions

Such commotion in motion

From the unconscious ocean

You tried to drown me when you found me on the shores of Devotion

A catalyst for The Analyst who lives in this skin

while Sirens beckoned so sweetly

“Come back in, come back in…”

Melodic voices drenched wretched with sin

You bound my wrists and my eyes

Plugged my ears

Threw me in

But when you learned to slither, friend…

I learned to swim

You thought me lost

The Sacrified lamb

But I’d gone to hell — got acquainted with Hades

Befriended the devils

And that lamb?

Oh so tasty

Still don’t know it’s name was

But it sure wasn’t ‘Katie’

The Time has arisen, I’m out of my prison

Hell made me Whole

Clear is my vision

The Sirens may call but my ears do not listen

No infection in my direction

From dismembered dissection

Put myself back together

In perfect imperfection

I call myself servant

Head down and gaze in

The one Call I answer?

The Call from Within

 

 

Underneath

affair

 

You slipped beneath my skin today

Tried to reach into my soul

Your eyes fell, easy, into mine

And you began to know

She’s not gonna do it, hey?

Ain’t up to the task

The only thing you see in me

Is Everything she lacks

We sat face-to-face, today

Facades partially in place

But I wondered — just like you, I think —

If they could be erased

What if we decided

To take all these layers off

What if I undressed your soul

Instead, this pleasant talk

Yet here we are again, my friend

Amidst unspoken Want

Sitting heavy in-between us here

Adult masks on top

You’ve settled in my head my dear

As I type these words you read

I wonder….are you brave enough

To choose what’s Underneath?

 

 

 

Life

icaniwill

 

I will write in spite of that black cement wall son-of-a-bitch writer’s block

I will dream, let them come — the demonic, the erotic, the night sea journeys, the sirens, the earthquakes and alchemical pools of lakes and hot tubs, and the way I can always fly up and across the sky — get there quicker than the rest of them

I will paint – my modest, laughable pieces of art

Art that does not come easy like that one girl you can’t forget for precisely that reason

But art that comes, nonetheless, because it means something to me

Some young, simple, eager expression of my soul

I will do – because my soul Calls to me to do – to create to develop and yes,

I will be

Still, with eyes closed feeling the vibrations of the Universe shiver through my body as it circles gently and only ever so slightly, round and round and round…

I will dance, not like nobody’s watching because, hello! people are fucking watching – but I will do it anyway because that is my brave

I will kiss. I will kiss with passion and abandon and suck in that lower lip just a little bit if he lets me, and then soft, stop. Barely touching my lips to his, a whisper of a kiss…to see what he will…

I will breathe from the bottom of my spine up past the crown of my head; I will let the life force ride on my breath expanding in me like oceans of air cleansing my broken, cynical soul

I will shop. Online shop.

Because fuck, once in a while, I do like to shop online. And “mall energy” is the worst.

I will ride the waves of my vast emotions as if they were made from wings of gold I could fly upon; I will honor the highs and lows as equals because — ego aside – they are

I will love

I will love with these warm feelings that wrap their joy and compassion around me and then move outward so that they may reach you. I hope they reach you.

I will accept life as She is. There can be no other way. None of us are spared getting fucked over by Verizon at some point in life. Or AT&T. Or…eh, just pick a company.

And of course, so very, very much worse. But I will be unspared with you.

I will Open…so that I may let a love like mine find me

I will explore, and wonder, and try, and feel, and hope, and cry, and listen, sacredly

And in all of this…

I will live.

 

Answer to Rejection

You want some robot “poetry voice” to come out of me

Knowing about things like stanzas and haiku

How can she, like, not know haiku and call herself a poet?!

But I can only write using This voice

And that fake shit don’t fly here

Maybe it’s Real to you –

“shimmering lakes” and clichéd-a-million-ways-to-say autumn leaves –

and that’s ok

But Real to me is just…

being free enough to be me

To let out my truth

Imperfectly

This is my poetry.

This is my art.

This is my voice.

You can reject it for its lack of “poetry-ness”

Or say anything you wish, really

I’ll just float along with the smile I feel forming on the inside

Because, well…

I don’t write for you.

FLY

 

Image

 

See that box there?

Don’t try and put me in it

Beautiful contradictions don’t fit in boxes

Labels —

So feeble minds can try and make sense of the nonsensical,

The Impossibly Complex,

Like You

Or Me

Stop trying to Know

What Clings to your clothes?

When you walk down the street, do you know what They say about you?

Stop listening

They do not matter

I’ll tell you a secret

You do not have to accept the projections

Look up at them with Clear eyes and smile

Perhaps turn your head side to side and wonder aloud,

“Who are you talking about? Because that, dear one,

Is not me.”

Let them see who they really speak of!

Hold the mirror up!

Who wrote on you with permanent marker?

Lies —

Permanent marker comes out if you keep at it

I breathe in air free of past illusions

I wear nothing but Change

I speak in tongues and ride the wind

I kiss my sweet animal body

Humility and Empowerment keep me sharpie-free

Join me

Rinse off what has trapped your gorgeous soul

And Fly

 

This Much Sadness

I am at a loss

For This Much Sadness

An odd wah-uh-wah-uh-wah sound penetrates my ears

Alien

Foreign

My eyes sit like saucers in a dirty Beijing sky

Hazy

Spacey

Where the fuck am I?

I am at a loss

For This Much Sadness

Who knew It existed

Like This?

I am a shaken, empty vessel

Robotic

Devoid

I am a Veteran now

Lost

Perhaps forever

In these Post-Apocalyptic eyes

 

Reality

Shell shocked

I don’t know what day it is

I’m turned inside out

Dazed

Glazed

A donut in a madhouse

With hungry clowns

But there are no more pieces of me to take

I’m a magic trick now

Hiding behind distorted mirrors

I have taken so much

There is nothing left to take

The donut was gone a long time ago

They’re all fighting over the illusion of Me

Of themselves

A sugary sweet treat in some fantasy world

But I’ve stepped outside

Into the harsh world of Reality

Not too many people here

But definitely no clowns

Black Sophia

 

ereshkigal

I fall now

In Wretched Grace

I land upon your lap

I took not my old Naivety

Nor wide-eyed Innocence

Nor Cloying Positivity

Nor hope of Recompense

I did not bring Salvation here

Nor dare to make Requests

I wore only reverent fear

For you command Respect

You have bested me, My Black Sophia

Fool I was, in retrospect

From this day on

I honor You

No, I will not forget

There is No Place that is Like You

No words to capture Your Kind of Truth

No Art

No Muse

No Thing

Like You

And I will not

Forget

 

The Architect

million pieces

When you found me I was broken

Didn’t know it like I Know It now

Reclaiming all the fallen pieces

Shattered all about

The nicest vase the house did hold

In fractured shards made of gold

Takes So Much More than so much

You know?

So

How does one rebuild with hands

Scattered all about

Fingers here and there, it seems

random knuckle on the ground

Maybe one must start with nothing

To change it all around

Maybe one must start with nothing

To make herself anew

Those broken hands were never mine

So My Nothing shall draw me two

I hated that old vase anyway

And the gold?

They call it Fool’s