my heart breaks into a million pieces
a million times
I don’t know how anyone gets through this life, sometimes
the world often feels cold and indifferent
and I suppose it is
and i guess it isn’t, sometimes
but Lately has not been one of Those times
I wonder how I can find more meaning
more – dare I say it? —
(You owe me a coke)
I cannot go back
I will not go artificially up
because I know the horrific downs
I am so alone and yet
How can I like them but not think I want them
what on earth would i do with one, needing me
maybe i’m just a selfish freak
then again, it feels selfish to bring something innocent and unique
into a world like this
I don’t know
I would like a partner but he never seems to show up
or he’s weak
or he can’t follow through
or there’s not enough chemistry
I am tired of the tears on my cheeks
I am tired of seeking
I am tired of stopping seeking to just be
I am tired of everything
I am most tired of breaking
no, I am most tired of feeling This Kind of Low
that makes it difficult to breathe
or leave the house, some days
I am angry
where is reprieve?
To whom do I speak?
Can It even hear me?
If It hears, what then?
I don’t see you Changing,Thing!
I’ve changed enough for the both of us, but it don’t seem to matter much
Should I just keep suffering, hoping you’ll wake the fuck up?
Just stay in this god-forsaken place feeling stuck?
why should i be the only one to have to change? huh?