The Boot

One intentional STOMP

A spurred boot slamming onto an iced-over lake

Sadness breaks through me

the cracks begin slowly

reaching their jagged, frozen fingers through my skin

they quicken

Frigid waters rising

I hear a whisper somewhere

Don’t fall in

Don’t fall in

Those waters aren’t meant for swimming

30 seconds til hypothermia sets in

But then, a different voice speaks:

There is no danger here

I reassure The Whisperer

I am the lake.

And The Thing breaking through me

Is only

Letting Life in

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Another Today

 

Do you feel Her — Our Country?

She is weeping

She is desperate that we come out of such wasteful dissonance

Our Ignorance

I blame you and you blame me

But we are on the same side again This Evil

All this violence erupting

Volcanic bursts of killing

Have we become a nation of amputees?

There is a fine line between waiting and deteriorating

Between Consideration and Paralysis

Have we be become the goddamn avocados of the world?

Too ripe or too rotten

Can we not call a spade a spade

But leave the spades who are not spades out?

What is so hard about that?

Who lies there, in the corner, covered in blood today?

It is your mother and my mother

It is your friend and my friend

Our Nation

Our Country

Our Earth

Our Selves

We cry out in reverberating wails of frustration and sadness and anger

But Know This:

Evil does not only not listen, It thrives on our painful confusion

And so I might remind you now —

Jesus came with a sword

The good warrior knows when to retreat and when to draw

Differentiation is key

You are not the Evil

So listen with me

Let us act in consciousness, together

Let us be These United States

Or tomorrow will just be

Another Today

— KH

 

 

 

No Hope

Eyes burned wide open

can’t cry anymore

Numb to emotion

’cause I’ve seen it before

Nothing tugs at my heartstrings

No harp strings to play

’cause the instrument’s broken

Strings are all frayed

The bird that is Hope can’t perch or sing

an’ she’s getting so tired of flappin’ her wings

No heart to land on

Just bits on the floor

No respite, no Inn

Then

No Hope anymore

Brick Walls

DSCF9101

I’ve been in love with brick walls

Most of my life

Not sure why

Those sturdy stones, beautiful and strong

Built to last

And red

But I mistook the wall for something so much more

than it was

My hands crumble to dust in front of me

I stare at my own abandonment

When did I leave myself

How did I imagine this could love me back

My legs buckle underneath

Turn from bone and flesh and fat

to smoke

There is only brick and cement in front of me

Bouncing my thoughts back into my own head

No arms or legs —

I’ve become the brick

That makes up the wall

That gives nothing to me

Nothing at all

I lie in the gravel street

and hope someone takes me

and builds me into something great

Since I could not

Since I got so lost

On my way home

This Much Sadness

I am at a loss

For This Much Sadness

An odd wah-uh-wah-uh-wah sound penetrates my ears

Alien

Foreign

My eyes sit like saucers in a dirty Beijing sky

Hazy

Spacey

Where the fuck am I?

I am at a loss

For This Much Sadness

Who knew It existed

Like This?

I am a shaken, empty vessel

Robotic

Devoid

I am a Veteran now

Lost

Perhaps forever

In these Post-Apocalyptic eyes

 

Black Poetry

Brainwashed-2

Black Poetry beats in me like a painful yellow fog

Murky, pungent, sucking life

This is garbage, you think

(Or maybe that’s me)

For Poetry is the thing Dickenson speaks of!

Hope singing, and the like

I bring a different kind of Word

Self-indulgent, maybe

But not if you really knew…

Well

Some of you do

Some of you do

We are the artists, yes the long-suffering Clichés,

Whose works, year-after-year-after-millennium,

Somehow still rings True

Life strikes down her yellow-gold-silver-blue

Splitting us all open, cracked as we already are

Shattering and shattering

You can almost here Zeus laughing in the skies while

Children are dying down here in spades

While so-called Gurus spew

Unrelatable but somehow edible

Spiritual vomit

People sinking knee-deep in it

Eyes wild, wide

Heads nodding, bobbing like Robotrons

Mouths lapping up regurgitated chunks

Hungry

Starving to ingest the One-Sided

Disguised as Salvation

Hands dripping with acid stench

Shoveling, scooping

Inhaling someone else’s excrement

Proclaiming it delicious

Denial is a Siren

A sweet Goddess of affliction

Who is so annihilating-ly believable

We all think we’ve got gold in our palms

Ever-fooling ourselves

So I take on the role of The Outcast

I must

This painful yellow fog beats out of me

(Go ahead and find it disgusting)

Not because I wish to be different

(Though, fuck you, I’m different)

But because mainly

I must be a Counter

To all the golden puke we cling to

Pretending that it is Soul

WAKE THE FUCK UP

war

Stupid fucking people everywhere
You see them out there
Small talking about the weather
They don’t know any better
Rattling on about the latest sale at Marshals
I hear a neighbor’s voice waft into my living room
Cloying and gossipy, “Oh, it’s allllways about HER,” she says so nasally I wonder if her nose is doing the speaking
I get the distinct feeling she’s talking about herself
Just doesn’t know it
I tried to get to my gmail today by pressing the “gm” buttons into my browser
Accidentally took me to female genital mutilation
I guess I pressed the “f”
Women in other places get their clitoris and labia scraped off
Their vaginas sown up
Sometimes without anesthesia
Usually before age 5
They see it as a rite of passage or a sign of purity and honor
I see it as men in fear trying to control women’s power
I see it as the symbol it is – women mutilating their femininity
How long do we suffer blindly?
How long do we fool ourselves to make the shit we eat taste more palatable?
So what kind of poem is this, you wonder?
Where is it going?
I don’t fucking know
People in Ukraine dying and bloodied by government for fighting for rights
In 2014
How are we still this barbaric?
HOW?
There is too much pain in this world
Covered up shoddily by our daily purgings of false importance on Facebook
Or our video game playing addictions – 5 hours a day — or
Anything, really, to take us away from the horrific truth of what is actually going on
All the time
Because we feel helpless
So we hide
Until consciousness again finds us and we are thrust into action
Until we stop asking “how are you” and not giving a fuck about someone’s answer
Until we stop talking about the weather
And start discussing our souls

This Lonely “I”

Tried to love you a thousand times
But I gave too much of myself away
Been scrambling like a maniac
To get all those precious pieces back
Slow-going though
(And some decayed)
They tell me out of rotten things…
Yeah I’ve heard that out of death?
A brand new Something’s born again
Better than what’s left
I wonder though – about those pieces
The ones I’ve tried to grasp
And breathe life into once again
Make meaning of my past
Is it worth it when I’m so alone
While my heart just hopes and hopes
Going on and on like It don’t see
The rope around my throat
I tried to love you a thousand times
And a thousand more than that
Was I doing Love all wrong?
Have I given This for That?
I have no answers as I move
Step-by-adjective-Step
There are no fairytales, methinks
Oh, what a crushing childhood lie
No prince
Nor knight
Nor one true love
But only this lonely
“I”

Paul

paul_walker71

 

I don’t know why you affect me like you do

Can’t even write yet without sobbing about you

Had three of my best friends reach out to me

Told me of your passing because they knew

They knew how I loved you

How can it be

That someone we don’t even know personally

Affects us so deeply

Touches such Humanity

That place in us all where we feel Divinity

And we felt yours

Not just the other day

When the car burst into flames

When the joy ride of your life

Took you away

No not just then

Your life was felt while you were here!

Could there be anything that matters more

Presence being felt

Just knowing you were Here meant something to me

And I only understand that from the sharp realization

That now you’re gone

I was out buying a curtain rod

Looked down at the text I got

“Paul Walker died.”

Felt my heart drop

It wasn’t about your fame or your beauty

But the light that shone through

Your humility and honesty

And blue-eyed speaking truth

And that smile

Oh that smile

That when you graced us with it

Everything else melted away

I promise I will carry it within me

Even as I ache

There will never be another smile

Quite

The same.

 

Gray Field

gray

I am Uh-lone

Lost in a dry, gray field of it  —

Emptiness

Draping over me like a long, invisible cloak from head to toe

Offering nothing

Causing the kind of pain only Nothing can bring

Shocking

A great, dark, Impersonal

Void

One can only scream silently for so long,

alone

I am so totally Uh-lone

Sharp in my sobriety

That the masses lack

Preferring to believe that

“It’s all love and light, baby, love and light”

Bullshit

I don’t know your experience and you do not know mine

I only know that we can try

To understand –

And we’re lucky if we can –

Or find someone who really wants to

Who does not run away shrieking from our carnivorous pain

The way I hypocritically do

I never could relate

To those who haven’t been to hell…

To those who aren’t awake