So many times I don’t know it’s there
Sadness
trapped in my body
Despair
a forward fold and then
the tears
Walking up his driveway
I knock on his door
He gives me an adjustment
and I cry some more
He made me still, then a sudden crack
and woah
Didn’t know it was stuck like that
The body holds what the mind won’t
The mind’s got tricks
The body don’t
The mind escapes
But the body knows
The Body Knows
How can it be that You’ve annihilated me?
I sat with you
I loved you
I gave you Everything in me
Yet I was met by the Devil
(who you do not believe in)
But I do
Because He came through you
To cut me
To rip my open heart out of my chest
And devour it
Shocked-frozen, I watched Him chew it slowly
Grinding, piercing, masticating
while i became colder and colder
I feel my own demons rise up
Clawing for a piece of my already-swallowed heart
Hardening me
Darkening my Light
That somehow, Something Bitter thinks,
Keeps Fucking Living in me
Soulless creatures hiss in my ears
Don’t let anyone else in.
Ever.
Let us kill any human thing you have.
Let us help you, friend.
Trust only us.
Be alone.
You always have been.
You always will be.
But.
But I know mySelf well enough now!
My warm feelings will Rise Again
And sweep away all these Shadowed men
I will steal back my digested heart from the Devil’s belly
And I will make it work again.
I’m in that place
Where there is no try
Where desolation goes to die
No more questions, no more why
I’m in that place
Where there is no try
Only wishes and desperate pleas
Like winter’s snow falling silently
Melting before they are received
In this place one hopes for sad
Depression, even, not so bad
Joy a distant memory
The reining King is Apathy
He watches over fields of numb
And clouds of pain
Rivers where lives end in vain
His eyes are blank, a little grey
No one home
Nothing to say
His last try was a million lifetimes ago
Disconnection here the status quo
I’m in that place
Where there’s no reaching out
Or an inner voice who might cry out
And yell, “I do not wish to die!”
No, he is not here
There is no try.
ariaphoenix 