This Lonely “I”

Tried to love you a thousand times
But I gave too much of myself away
Been scrambling like a maniac
To get all those precious pieces back
Slow-going though
(And some decayed)
They tell me out of rotten things…
Yeah I’ve heard that out of death?
A brand new Something’s born again
Better than what’s left
I wonder though – about those pieces
The ones I’ve tried to grasp
And breathe life into once again
Make meaning of my past
Is it worth it when I’m so alone
While my heart just hopes and hopes
Going on and on like It don’t see
The rope around my throat
I tried to love you a thousand times
And a thousand more than that
Was I doing Love all wrong?
Have I given This for That?
I have no answers as I move
Step-by-adjective-Step
There are no fairytales, methinks
Oh, what a crushing childhood lie
No prince
Nor knight
Nor one true love
But only this lonely
“I”

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Happy Ending

I don’t want to eat

I don’t want to Need

I don’t want to want

To want to need to Feed

I hate that fairy tales told me

That Life should only be

This ever-after love-fest

Filled with just One Thing

They sure as hell left out a lot

There at The (gift-wrapped) End

Forgot to say Life’s challenges —

The evil witches, the Malices

The Queen of Hearts and Alices

Are merged far past The End

So the darkness and the struggles

Don’t just cease when evil dies

Death is just a pit-stop

Another Thing will rise

And They didn’t ever tell us

That the Princess is a zealot

And Charming oh-so-jealous

‘Cuz that would ruin that Happy End

I hate that fairy tales told me

That darkness is Out There

That Perfection is a pretty princess —

Because Real Life requires Wear!

Dirty, bloody, messy, muddy

Darkness lives Inside

But The Hero also lives within

Just open that Third Eye

Do the work, eradicate

The inner, self-effacing Hate

Face the Monster, don’t run away

Watch darkness be transformed

You don’t need no Fairy Godmother

To make yourself Reborn

As for me,

I may not want to eat

I may not want to Need

I may not want to wrestle

With What Will Truly Feed

But as I do I can feel

My heart, betrayed, is mending

I’d rather have an authentic life –

No, I don’t need a Happy Ending.