Numb

 

blankexpressions

I’m in that place

Where there is no try

Where desolation goes to die

No more questions, no more why

I’m in that place

Where there is no try

Only wishes and desperate pleas

Like winter’s snow falling silently

Melting before they are received

In this place one hopes for sad

Depression, even, not so bad

Joy a distant memory

The reining King is Apathy

He watches over fields of numb

And clouds of pain

Rivers where lives end in vain

His eyes are blank, a little grey

No one home

Nothing to say

His last try was a million lifetimes ago

Disconnection here the status quo

I’m in that place

Where there’s no reaching out

Or an inner voice who might cry out

And yell, “I do not wish to die!”

No, he is not here

There is no try.

 

 

 

Cory

 

cory

 

One more

A symbol

What darkness within

That you fought silently, privately

Trudging through

No addict, like me, will ever judge you

The ones who have No Experience

Walking razor’s edge

Will toss out opinions

Sharp and hurtful

Empty of meaning

Ignorance and judgment in place of feeling

They won’t ever understand

They will just blame

But you and I, my friend,

We are the same

It is only a choice

Sometimes

Not everyone will get that line.

But those of you who do –

Well, this one’s for you

I whisper now

My desk to your grave —

I know how you fought

I know you were brave

We don’t always win the game that you played

(Though I know very well that this was no game)

Your Soul up for grabs

As the demons, they raged

A light went out

Like they do every day

But that don’t mean that Life isn’t changed

The Warfare of the Psyche

Is no fucking game

Those who don’t know it intimately

Ought just give their Thanks

I honor you, friend

Your Death no place for shame

The fight that you fought…

You and me

Quite

The same.

MIRROR

Inside the blue-gray bits of fragile, broken shell

Lies the Empty Space of something hatched

But where did it go?

What was it?

Is it safe?

Edges make jagged points too delicate to be taken seriously

Touching them would only crack them further

And they are cracked enough

Sitting desperately,

Open

Like sad little arms reaching up and out

Wishing those they carried would return to fill the Loneliness

But there is only me,

Staring

On the outside peering in

Wishing I could help ease their suffering

But then I think

These are merely shells…

What in me

Sees Such Things?

 

 

 

 

With This Loss

With this loss

I’m at a loss

I cannot write

Or sing

Or cry

There is Nothing Left

But a memory

Of something I had hoped would be,

Fully.

Gone…

My dreams show me The Tragedy

That in my Living State I cannot see

Or feel

It would be too great a pain

Funny how the psyche works —

Kicks in like it does

Disconnects us from the stuff

We’d never be able to get through

Meanwhile, I type

But do not mistake it for writing

These are the apathetic, colorless words

Of a poet who is no longer a poet

This is the guarded, shaded voice of a person

Who will not touch love again in the same way

Because This State is not worth it

Perhaps you say

“You’ll move through”

Perhaps you are being kind but naive

One Door

Has shut

And you can be sure

That Door (for there was never another like it)

Will not be opened.

With this loss

I am merely a whisper of the person

I was.

Tomorrow

Don’t know what to do right now

Just trying to get to tomorrow

My brain is fried

My soul, it hurts

Filled with such deep sorrow

And I really wish that I could write

About funny, happy things sometimes

I know this Heavy stuff gets old

These little torturous rhymes

But what can I say?

It is the world I am in

I don’t know how to set down this load

My shoulders ache

From the constant quake

Of stories I am told

I wish I were a comedienne

So I could lighten your load

Make a smile spread ‘cross your face

But I’ve lost all my funny bones

And here I sit, holding such weight

Trying to “Let it go”

But Knowing truth underneath

Cannot be Unknown

So here I sit another night

Another sadness

Another fight

And I’m just tryin’ to find

Tomorrow.