The Still Point

I have come now

to the Still Point

that place the ego does not like

for it requires waiting, resting, being

Digesting

Can’t we just rush forward

Get to the next thing

Do just a little more

I say firmly,

No my Hercules

We must stop

It is time to integrate

I know how you hate it

How you wish to push further

Conquer the next task

Kill the next dragon

Or make it our pet

And we will get there in time

I promise

For now the best way you can help me

is to let us Be

Breathe

Feel

Would you join me?

I’ll make us that peach and clove tea you like

Sip it slowly and take in the gray clouds and the rich, Fall feeling that goes with them

There, now

Not as bad as you thought, huh

This Waiting.

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BoundFree

 

 

heartopening

I thrive in You

I come alive

Through and through you feel me and feed me

Truth’s breeze rushes like a ghost through my broken-open soul

I will never go back

I can never go back

A shattered soul is how the light gets through

Never believed it before

but now I do

Oh, I know

Life won’t be anything close to perfect

Or some fantasy of mine conjured up in the wish-making world of the ego

Begging, grasping, crying out for control always and endlessly

A defeat for the ego is a victory for the Self*

So I let my battered ego lick her wishful wounds

While the Self grows strong and conscious

Through my very own humanity and suffering

I have you and you, you also have me

Without one another we do not thrive

We just stagnate and exist

You, thrashing around in some kind of empty Glory

Me, without purpose

But together we cut through cement like feathered blades of kelly-green grass

Impossibly yet entirely

Tell me — what could be more meaningful than the transformation

Of another being?

In this moment of strength I say

The suffering is worth it

May I remember this in my weakness and may you forgive me

And accept me in All Forms

And may I do the same for You

Bound as we choose to be by this marriage of Awareness

Bound

Only as we choose to be

And I do

 

 

*C.G. Jung quote

Nameless

…and in the dark corridors that twist and turn

I try

And find My Way

By alternately letting go,

Then claiming it

Discovering and rediscovering

Learning through stumbling —

Which is the right way?

Which unknown tunnel to take?

All the while the body dies

With each unsuccessful Try

What is Inside cries out from years and years

Of unending abuse:

You get no more tries!

I am defeated

For how can one go on without any more tries?

I wish to be

Who I was born to be

But that fate is ever changing

Dependent on a defeated me

Who needs more tries, more chances

Whose body says, No…

Now

I hurt you.

And I cannot blame her for the betrayal

When I have betrayed her more times than I can count

I am lost in the dark corridors

I won’t be found.

I am the Chanceless, Handless maiden.

At night

You might

Hear my cries echoing from way below ground —

Wandering, howling, haunted

Hoping one day someone else might be strong enough

To tell Our story –

To find Her own Way

Out…

However Brief

Today I sit in peace

No Great Push telling me to

Go, go, go

Get there before it is too late

Accomplish

As if that were what really mattered

Ego dies

Essence lives on

How have I really lived?

Spinning, reaching, mind-fucking myself daily?

Or have I stopped?

Have I looked?

Have I let myself Wonder without the edgy, itchy rat-race feeling?

Have I been hell-bent on learning, on growing towards

That Damned elusive destination

Whose Reality exists only in the now?

Oops.

Have I missed all the Sacred Moments and Amazing People

Right in front of me?

Have I been so eager to speak and do

That I could not hear or be?

Have I run myself in circles only to find myself

Standing in the same place?

Not today.

Today I sit in peace.

I let the breeze touch my face

I hear the children laugh and shriek as children do

And I let it all be,

However brief

However brief…