I walk in
just to see his smile
for 47 seconds
It’s the kind you hear about —
the kind that Lights Up everything
I wonder if he is always the sun inside himself?
like he is the sun for me
Good God I’m grateful he exists
in a world Like This
I don’t even need a drink today
I just need those 47 seconds
Everybody wants me to be happy
perhaps because they cannot stand to face their own unhappiness
but I am not happy
the world is fraught with horrific things that I cannot Unsee or Unknow
I check my feed to see who’s been slaughtered today
and people want me to be happy
the murdered child
the bombings and beheadings
the shooting victims
the acid victims
The great vat of spiritual bypass
and desperate clinging to the last shreds of your own denial
even as our world implodes
but you dare ask me to be happy
fuck your happy
goddamn fuck your happy
ariaphoenix 